owning up

I haven't wanted to post much lately.  I don't really want to post now.  Sort of in the way that I don't want to do my Sunday Round of Family Calls, even though I really SHOULD make the Sunday Round of Family Calls. 


I like how, when I'm learning lines, if there's a certain line I just CANNOT get into my head, it's my brain giving me a secret signal that I actually hate that line. Maybe because I don't understand it. Or it hits too close to home. It's interesting. Revealing your subconscious at work.

Sort of like I CANNOT get myself to call my family.
Okay fine, I'll say it. This is awful, but I didn't call last week either.  There.  I told you. What a nasty blow to my ridiculous TransFamily Outreach Worker ego.

And there's the phone.  And I avoided looking at it all afternoon as I took a nap, watched football, and shelled pecans.

Obviously it isn't a line I'm at odds with.  It's facing up to other people.  Including you, blog readers.  It's something I'm doing or have done. Something I'm not okay with. It's just a feeling. Do you ever feel guilty without knowing what you feel guilty about?