As usual, the holidays make darn sure that everyone knows about whatever tension has been percolating all year, turns the gas up underneath it, and then sits back to watch the explosion.
From our phone conversation. PHONE CONVERSATION. (cause I called. finally.)
Mom: I'm getting a ham from Rudy's, then I guess I'll make cheese taters and green beans. And THAT'S IT.
Me: Is Aunt Sherri making anything?
Mom: I told her she could get rolls.
Sounds like a blast.
Brandon's mom (the cat lady) is flying in late tonight, and I'm completely delighted. I made way too much food with way too many different cheeses. I would say I bought way too much wine, but I just can't ...really ...believe that's possible.
Brandon and I are visiting Texas in a few weeks. Mom asked what our plans were.
Me: Well, we'll probably spend some time with Mimi and Aunt Sherri ...would you want to come hang out with us there for a while?
Mom: nnnope.
Me: ... not at all?
Mom: nnnope.
Me: is this something I should ask about?
Mom: nnnope.
Me: Mom, come on. What's going on?
Mom: nnnope.
[I think about my last post]
[this is the experiment part]
Me: Well ... I love you.
Mom: (now crying)
Me: Very, very much.
Mom: (crying more)
And that was that.
So I'm glad I'm here for Thanksgiving.
What can you do?
Good for you.
ReplyDeleteOf course, the random declaration of "I love you" is one of the most disconcerting things you can do. If people aren't used to it, it can seem as aggressive as a flower dropped into a gun barrel. Use it, but use it kindly! And also delight in subtext!
I freaked my dad out the first time I just told him "I love you" on the phone as an adult. He didn't know what to say. I'd just brought things to another level. But now, we say it all the time, and that's lovely. We still have problems, but declaring love is not one of them.
Wow. That IS pretty fantastic. In response to your last sentence, specifically: that's tough... but knowing that you love each other, that's such a strong bedrock to build from. On. With. You know.
ReplyDelete